I’m learning that a big issue I have is fear of my body. That might sound weird, but it is real. I’ve had a ton of trauma to my body and the bodies natural response is to basically freak the f out. Your nervous system goes into overdrive, everything starts misfiring, and you end up in a bunch of pain. Pain Psychology is really interesting to me!!
What I’m learning is how to distinguish my nervous system freaking out, and a medical emergency. Honestly, every pain management doctor should make their patients enroll in a class about this. If I would’ve learned about this 8 years ago I probably would’ve saved $50,000 in medical bills.
The human body is super complex. Add in getting a crush injury to your chest, 4 stents, a bypass, a torn aorta, a torn vertebral artery, and back surgery and you’ve just put back together the pieces. I’m kinda broken, but I also still have a strong desire not to live my life in bed or on the couch, and if there is any chance of that happening, I really believe this place is going to get me there.
Someone finally measured the strength in my left hand (not just here squeeze my fingers, used an actual measuring tool, no idea of it’s name 😬) , and I have half of the strength of the average woman in my age range. This is my dominant hand in case you missed me saying that earlier. I’m a lefty and my right hand is mostly useless for anything. We’re slowly working on some strength with some puddy. It’s kinda fun 🙂 the idea is get it moving, slowly and safely.
That is a big fear of anyone who has been injured, or had pain or been ill. We are learning that your brain does this instinctively. You put your hand on the stove and it hurts, you don’t do it again. Same logic. We guard the things that hurt. I think I found a muscle in my left shoulder that I hadn’t known existed for the last five years. I started using my arm in ways that made it hurt less. By doing this those muscles get weak and other muscles compensate. They get tight. It’s not real crazy stuff. I’ve done similar stuff in PT before, but I was shown stretches this week for Nerve pain that I never knew existed, and that is baffling to me. Over the last 8 years I have been to five different PT places. No one ever showed me this. I get a little mad about it, but im trying to stay away from being angry for the poor care I have received previously and look forward to this awesome place im at now and how much hope I have of feeling better for the first time in a looooooong time.
Doing some light walking, some light movement in Tai Chi and Feldenkrais and OT and PT and Pool Therapy helps get the juices flowing. This is literally what I was trying to do on my own, and in ‘normal’ PT, and now I have a huge team of doctors and people helping me :). And they all work together to figure out what is best for each patient. The people in my class are just as excited as I am. Someone I went to Jr. High with’s Dad is even in my class. 😂. Small world! Me and one of the girls in my class were laughing about our pain today, and Laughter is really the best medicine. It’s nice to be around people who get it too.
This week has been a Huge win! Thanks for all of the support. It has not been easy to get to the point, but I feel really good about where I am at now and the care that I am getting.
The song is Cardi B and Chance the Rapper Best Life. These two are inspiring. Cardi B truly does what she wants and I think she’s awesome 👏🏻😎🤩