Jesus, Etc.

Jesus, etc. (Wilco)

I choose a Wilco song for today, because as I was driving by Marina City in Chicago this morning, I couldn’t help but think of them, and specifically Jay Bennett. (If you follow my Instagram, I posted some pictures on my story, follow along! @sarabink44)

Jay Bennett (of Wilco) lived on the block that I grew up on for a number of years. He was a really nice guy, and died in his sleep with a Fentynal patch on his back in 2009.

This was way before the opioid crisis, or before most people would even know what Fentynal was, but I feel like this inspired me to talk about something I don’t really like to talk about.

Pain Medicine. Drugs. Substance Abuse.

Depression. Anxiety. Addiction. Suicide.

If you follow the news at all there have been a crazy amount of well known people taking their own lives. Overdosing, dying. People that everyone says wow, I never knew they were depressed. Wow, they had everything, how could they do that?

For the most part, no one likes others to know if they are depressed, or low, or feeling hopeless.

People gets these feelings sometimes and we need to stop the stigma.

Depression isn’t something I or anyone can help having. If you’ve been through something traumatic in your life, or multiple things, or you are sick, or injured, you probably have some sort of depression. You might have had the best life anyone can ask for, and you are still depressed.

No one wants to feel like this. No one wants to stay home and avoid life. Well, maybe some people, but mostly that’s coping.

Avoiding life.

Well, I for one am done avoiding, and am working my butt off to get this body of mine back into shape, and sometimes that all you can do.

My pain has gotten so bad, even leaving the house felt like a huge task. After two weeks of pushing myself, it’s getting a little easier getting out of bed every morning, and getting ready, and getting to the train, and making it through the day.

Each day it’s getting a little easier.

This is what I call progress!!

I would also like to mention that I made it through the first two weeks with use of ZERO Pain Medicine.

I got to the point where I could not live with using it for my pain, it makes me truly miserable, but I couldn’t figure out any other way to function. The pain makes doing anything with my left arm/shoulder really painful.

Here, I’m finding other ways to cope with the pain. More natural/alternative treatment options. Light movement, strengthening, relaxation, pool therapy, not being scared of movement. Learning that safe movement is good.

In a world where we are losing people every day from Drugs, Mental Illness, Alcoholism, Suicide, I needed another option. I couldn’t live on Pain Medicine, and they were barely working for my pain anyways, I mostly only got the side effects.

I finally found it ❤️

So this is for all of the people we have already lost. Too many to even count. Family, Friends…. And to give some hope to anyone struggling still. There is hope. There are other options. If Pain Meds work for you, great! But they don’t work for me. I’m learning that just being self-aware can make you move mountains! ⛰ You can take back your life, it might take time, but it can happen.

Don’t give up, advocate for yourself for whatever help you need, be it Mental Health, Physical Health, Pain Management, there are Doctors out there willing to help, sometimes you just have to look really hard.



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