Nice for What

Nice for What – Drake

My music tastes are all over the place. I think I get this from my family, especially my Dad. I post a Broadway show one day and Drake the next. I just really like all music. I love this song, but what I REALLY love is the video. Watch it here.

I read alot of non sense on the internet in all of my free time, but I also read about alot of people’s stories, inspiring ones, people who faced adversities and overcame them and went on to do cool stuff. These women in the video are badasses. It helps me keep going when things get tough. These last three weeks have been some of the toughest in my life. This last one in particular. Had a whole bunch of life stress, my Insurance has decided not to cover anymore PT or OT, so they keep contacting them to get authorization, but as of right now starting on my BIRTHDAY I am on my own for the bill. They denied my request last year, so I am not holding my breath. Stress makes my pain flare up REALLY bad, and in combination with a whole bunch of factors I started having what I would describe as 10/10 stabbing pains in my my left shoulder/arm/neck. I started crying in a PT class where we were doing “bird wings”. The most gentle movement possible. Then I started crying in Bio-Feedback because I had to move my shoulder very gently a few times. It’s THE most intense pain I have ever felt in my life. The pain that ended me up in the ER at Northwestern twice already. Your body kind of forgets really bad pain, so that may or may not be accurate πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ™„πŸ™„After a few days of mostly resting it, and imagining moving more then anything it finally calmed back down. It’s kind of incredible when you can actually see the stuff you are learning about in your own body. By being more conscious of my movement, and more mindful, and practicing my breathing exercises (including pain imagery removing the knife that is stabbing me), and all of the other techniques I am learning I was able to better control it, and brought it back down to about a 6. I can function at a 6 at least. We have to rate our pain at about every appointment so being conscious of where I am at and how to bring it down has been a huge learning experience!!!

I have one more week of this program to make it through, and this week will be our cooking day and graduation so it’s going to be a crazy one! I’ve made it everyday for 3 weeks somehow, so I know I can do it.

Everyone in my class has been having a lot of A-ha moment this week, and I have had a ton!! For the last YEAR I have not been able to stand up and wash my hair. You take the things you are able to do for granted sometimes!! I have to sit down, because I have come really close to falling a few times. My arm is very complicated, I have Vascular Issues, Nerve issues, Muscle issues, Shoulder issues, Neuro issues…. anything you can think of πŸ˜‚πŸ˜¬ so while I might LOOK normal, there are always things happening or twitching, or going numb, or throbbing or losing feeling. It’s scary because it is also my left arm. No one with heart/aorta issues wants to feel a pain in their left arm. I feel all sorts of things all day. The Doctors say it’s safe for me to move, to where I feel comfortable moving to, but it’s still scary when moving it sends different signals every time. I’m learning what I can and can’t do, what flares it up worse, what makes it better, and that is Exactly what I have needed. To know that my body is “safe” and what I CAN do. My Doctors scared the shit out of my I think. It specifically says on my discharge paperwork from when I was inpatient for a few days avoid yoga,golf, roller coasters, bungee jumping, or other activities that involve hyperextention or twisting of the neck. The other one said NO HAIRDRESSER. Ok, so what can I do? That’s what I’m learning. I’m really glad my Doctors at Northwestern referrered me here, this is exactly what I was looking for. The knowledge to deal with whatever pain I do have, and ways to make it better without taking pain medication. So far so good 😊 😊

I stayed out way past my bedtime twice this weekend, and I can’t even remember the last time I did that. But I had a lot of energy, so I went with it, and I am paying for it a little bit today, but it was worth it.




One thought on “Nice for What

  1. That sucks that your insurance is being difficult. It’s so short-sighted, it seems like paying for PT/OT now would decrease the amount they’d have to pay in future claims.

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